Three Golden rules for Christmas
- Roxanna Minnona
- Dec 18, 2015
- 6 min read
Amidst the holiday madness - Remember to breath !
In the Spirit of Giving and sharing from the heart, this blog contains some special tips you can access through this festive time, may it be a useful companion to you!
As we enter into the Christmas period with the magic that this season brings us, we can also find a lot of chaos and last minute pressures loading us up. Present hunting, family gatherings and the imminent sense of wrapping up our personal year mount up along with the sense that we are living in very uncertain and precarious times with escalating global pressures, climate change, summits, bombings, attacks and so on, making it a particularly emotionally charged time.
It is therefore important that we nurture greater alertness and awareness as to how to navigate these forces, but often what tends to happen is that people accelerate at this time, trying to fit everything in and get everything done. This quickening mode can put us in auto pilot and we switch off from our sensitive felt sense beings into coping mode, stress mode and wanting to “get out of it” mode.
These coping modes we go into, coupled with family dynamics, and over consuming especially of rich food and alcohol, generate a numbing effect and ultimately a sense of disconnection from our self.
You may have made considerable alterations to “how you do Christmas” but none the less, even just being surrounded by all of these forces can have it’s impact. No matter how close or distant you are from your family, all families trigger our wounds and unresolved issues. So more than ever this is the time you want to be present with yourself.
So this little gift I am about to share with you will be like a companion, to hold you steadfast through this little turbulent phase so that you can glide into 2016 grateful, open hearted, ready to receive the new year and all the gifts it has awaiting you.
The Three Golden rules to not only Surviving Christmas but actually Thriving !
1. An Attitude of Gratitude
2. Remember to Breath
3. Take regular time out to be with yourself.
1. “ An Attitude of Gratitude “
No matter what is happening, regardless of if it is preferable or not, begin to adopt an approach to every situation as a gift. Everything that is happening right now, is happening perfectly for you to learn and grow, when we give thanks for all that is, we begin to move into a more accepting posture. This acceptance creates space.
The space allows for infinite possibilities to occur rather than the patterned predictable outcomes.
Acceptance is a state whereby we come to peace with all things. It has nothing to do with wishful thinking and by no way means we necessarily endorse or condone what is taking place. It means that we can begin to allow life to be the way it is without feeling that what's happening externally needs to change so that 'I can be ok with myself'.
2. “Remember to Breath”
This may sound ridiculous, but it is profound!
Surprisingly one of the most difficult things people remember to do in times of stress, is to breathe!
The BREATH breathes us.
If it’s so simple then why are we struggling to simply be;
Most of us are living in a mild state of trauma, the trauma of surviving in the pressure of our competitive, capitalist, patriarchal and insane world. Stress is renowned as the biggest killer by far, so then, why do so many subscribe to it, even on holidays and rest periods?
It’s a long story but for the benefit of this little guide, picture this: In order to go into stress mode, a few things take place internally;
One. Everything starts speeding up. As we accelerate, rather than relaxing and expanding, we tense up and apply a lot of self control. A lot of force is required to clench around our inner energy / feelings so as to be able to override our system.
Two. We restrict the breath. To let the mind dictate and dominate our life we have to turn our feelings off.
Feeling and breathing are synonymous...
So when you restrict the breath, you restrict your ability to feel. Basically you're turning down the volume in the body and turning up the volume in your head. What is inside your head that is so important?
Overtime, If gone unchecked, this posture can become so internalised to the point that it becomes the habitual 'modus operandi' and the person winds up finding themselves completely numb.
As a result they become highly emotional. Feeling and emotions are too different things. IF a person is very emotional it is a result of repressing or denying feelings that over time explode due the energy accumulation from repression.
These people often confuse themselves as highly sensitive people. Have you noticed how these so called 'highly sensitive' people are more aggressive in their emotionality? Ie; Regular drama and tantrums (you might be one of them).
The obvious antidote to a highly stressful life is a vacation right? No, Wrong!
Have you noticed that after a holiday you feel like you need a holiday?
It is the underlying structures that need to adjust. If going into holiday mode never addresses behavioural patterns then it only worsens them. Let me explain.
What is referred to as 'time out', rarely means just that … disassociating from the body and the feelings that have been denied or repressed in the stress mode. Distancing oneself from the internal chaos does nothing to the chaos.
IT is still there when one returns. The only difference is, now the chaos has accumulated energy and become even more volatile, coupled with whatever toxins the body is having to process in your attempts to “get out of it”.
During the phase of getting out of it, you may experience a momentary relief, a looseness in the body, a more open and relaxed state, but don’t be fooled by this momentary pleasure.
The Antidote that works!!!
Waking up is a moment to moment process. It is a journey that never arrives. In other words, you can’t get the job done and then take a break. It requires your constant presence, and that is where breathing becomes your ally.
In every moment you are either receiving life in through the breath or exhaling and releasing it out.
It is the first thing that happens when you're born and the last thing that happens when you die.
It is the greatest gift given to you by nature and it is 100% free.
So why do we take it for granted?
The breath is so loyal to you, it will happen without you doing anything.
But if you are unconscious, and running stress patterns as described in the above scenario, then what you're actually doing is restricting the breath rather than letting the breath breathe you.
When you apply your presence, you have the option to relinquish the controls you are putting on yourself (and therefore those around you) and you are beginning to let the breath happen.
Regular checking in with yourself throughout the day to feel into what is happening internally; asking yourself where am I contracting, tensing or holding? and then gently taking the breath there with your inner awareness as you begin to yield and soften around whatever has you wound up will assist you tremendously in staying in touch, relaxed and connected.
3. Take regular time out to be with yourself.
Just 1 hour a day to be with yourself can change your life.
yourself as your are doing it. In other words, the focus is on going within rather than being externally orientated. SO watching a movie or reading a book may be a way that you like to enjoy your own company, but it will not refresh and resource you as much as simply being present with yourself. Something that engages your creative spirit would be preferable for this purpose. Simply resting or taking a gentle walk in nature or sitting for a delicious oolong tea ceremony, would have you hitting the jackpot. WHY? Because you are engaging yourself with presence. This is what is required. Time to ourselves can be replaced by nothing else. It is the KEY to self love.
Getting to know yourself. Without the influences of others around with their agendas and influences, you can listen more carefully to your own rhythms and needs.
Find out what really moves your energy. Let all the false you’s fall away.
The pay off is, you will get a lot more out of your connections and intimate relationships with others.
The deeper truth to relating is, that relating takes place from inside us. It is our connection to ourselves through which we connect to another. You can only experience life through your own body - never through someone else’s. You can imagine what it’s like to wear their shoes and look through their eyes. You can empathise and have compassion, but all of this is done through the seat of your own being. The stronger your connection is to your own energy and body - the deeper and stronger your connections are with others. !!!
So to get the most out of your precious family time this holiday, take regular breaks to integrate and catch up with number 1: YOU !
The minute you put yourself first in your life - everyone else benefits.
They may not have your attention when they DEMAND it… but when they do get you - they get ALL of you. Your capacity to be there for others is directly proportional for your ability to be there for yourself !!!
So by applying these Three Golden Rules… you are ready to face the fullness of the celebration season with a helping dash of Grace. If you apply each of these three rules just once per day, you will be so grateful to yourself. By the time 2016 gets here you will be surprisingly fortified and ready to embrace the new !
Remember Consciousness is a moment-to-moment process.
So whenever you “fall off” or go unconscious, smile, give thanks, and then gently re-awaken, bringing all your loving awareness to every moment, like the great Sages say “before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water, After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water”
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