Healing the Scars that Shame us

Finally after 6 weeks in Peru, I couldn’t hold back any longer, I had to share the powerful healing transformation of the Yoni Yoga sessions with the women here in the Sacred Valley. Eight brave women ventured into the temple with me (after 24 hours impromptu notice) and Oh my God did we dive deep into the feminine vortex! These sessions revealed so much to me and I’d like to share some of their gifts with you.

Healing Shame

I'm amazed to uncover just how much shame we all carry. Shame in no way originates from the source of who we are. It is something we have picked up along the way.

In a recent healing journey I did with myself, I discovered a new depth to the shame I had buried around addictions I had experienced throughout my teenage years. I have healed and integrated my scars and wear them with pride as they made me who I am, they were my Sacred Initialtons! They were the gateway to the birthing of my true self and this beautiful work that I share with you now. Nonetheless, the wounds I carried were shamed by society's perceptions, by those that I loved and trusted, my family and all those around me. I was publicly humiliated in school in front of 2000 female students, & teachers, for admitting myself into rehabilitation hospital at age 17 (before receiving my High School Certificate) to heal from the abuse of drugs that I used to cope with the pain that I had no tools to deal with at that time. After the announcement, friends, classmates and peers all denounced me en-masse, a kind of expulsion from the tribe.

In our Yoni Yoga sessions here in Peru, the beautiful women present shared such raw vulnerable honesty around the discomfort they felt toward their sexuality and femininity that it reminded me that we are ALL hiding our shame in one way or another. Ashamed that we “aren’t Woman enough”, that we "don’t orgasm", that we "are sexual", that we "stay in abusive relationships", or that we "don't feel beautiful", OR that we "have meaningless /disconnected sex", or ashamed that we “don’t have all the answers”, ashamed we may "appear stupid", to mention a few, common beliefs that I hear often from women in the groups I hold. We are ashamed to admit our addictions, our fears and insecurities, and the habits we have formed to cope with life. But, I am constantly reminded that this is a pain that we all struggle with. It is personal, collective, and touches each member of this human family. So are we really so different from one and another? Remedy: When we begin to see our addictions, aversions, negative self image, self harm and other “vices” as cries from the depth of our souls we can finally return home to our heart! We can thank ALL of our traumas as BEAUTIFUL lessons and BEAUTIFUL initiations into who we really are. For it is the experiences that gave us these scars that have been our greatest teachers, catalysing and awakening our remembrance to the truth of who we really are.

Exercise: Create a beautiful sacred space and Take some time to be alone. Bring in your journal and a pen, light a candle and play some very gentle soft music. Sit comfortably on the floor or in a chair. If you need to, lie down

~ Recall a specific hurt, a betrayal or a scar that you carry in this life. Something that you'd really rather people not know about, something that you bury deep inside. ~ Welcome this scar up into your conscious awareness and begin to breath with it. As if it were a friend in the room and you are breathing together… ~ Now bring your hands to your heart. Focus all of your awareness on your heart space and open your mouth so that when you exhale your breath flows out through your mouth. ~ Welcome your scar into your heart and let it sit there… in your loving awareness…. Keep your attention completely and totally on your scar bathing it in the light of your heart. Refrain from “thinking” or “analysing “ or “judging” … just BE with it in TOTALITY. ~ Stay with it for as long as you can or want to, being conscious of breathing out of your mouth for roughly 10 - 15 minutes. When you feel complete… take out your journal and without thinking… start to record your insights… what is obvious to you… write freely whatever comes to you, and then ask what has this scar has initiated you into … what gifts has it given to you? What have you learned about yourself or your life? When you have finished give thanks to your scar and all the people involved.. Name the qualities you have received … and shower your memory and who your were then, with blessings, love and acceptance allowing it to be a part an integrated part of who you are… When you consciously do this meditation… the shame that has attached itself in one way or another burns and dissolves… as your heart has a powerful mechanism which can heal and transform all illusions into love. Please feel welcome to write to me for any clarifications about the exercise, and to share your experiences

Artist: MARA FRIEDMAN